I Did It. I FINALLY Did It.

A single word—no—can feel like freedom. When a waiter asks if Pepsi is okay and you finally say it isn’t, the moment lands with more weight than a drink order should. That tiny rebellion opens a door to bigger truths about preference, boundaries, and why we’re so quick to trade what we want for what’s convenient.
If you’ve ever argued over Coke vs Pepsi, muted a commercial mid-chorus, or curated your watchlist like a vault, you’ll feel seen here. Hit play, share with a friend who has strong opinions, and leave a review telling us the one preference you’ll never compromise.

Chapters

• 0:00 Family Reunion And A Bold Drink Order
• 2:00 Coke Vs Pepsi And Ad Rants
• 4:10 Secrets Of The Coca-Cola Formula
• 7:00 Pharmaceutical Ads And The Taint Bit
• 10:30 Why Commercials Ruin Watching TV
• 12:50 Netflix Filters And Mature Ratings
• 15:10 Turkish Series Obsessions And Plots

Transcript

Blade: 0:25

Yeah. Listen, I just got back from North Carolina a while back. I'm just visiting some friends, and uh I had kind of a family reunion. Maybe like, I don't know, 20, 25 people I convinced to come see me. Hey, I live in Arizona. None of them left. They're all still in North Carolina, and the scaling triangle. That's what I call it, the scaling triangle. It's like a church steeple. That's a scaling triangle. Raleigh Durham Chapel Hill. Okay. It's not an equilateral triangle. It's called the triangle, though. That's where I live. That's where I'm from. Anyway, I convinced 25 to show up out of the probably 80 that we have at this restaurant in Greensboro, sort of sitting around. And I'm looking at these 24 other people as an audience at this point because I've got a plan that I'm going to do for the first time. I'm going to fulfill it for the first time in 50, 60 years, ever. First time ever, in fact. And it's going to happen, and I've got an audience and I want to see how they react. You know, and I'm happy because the guy that's taking the orders of all 25 of us is the head waiter.

Blade: 1:37

He's not some young college girl there to make a buck so she can go back to you and see Gene buy a book, okay? So I'm not worried about him. And he says, Sir, can I get you something to drink? Yeah, I'd like a Coca-Cola, please. And he said, Will Pepsi be okay? And I said, No. No, hell no, it won't. And that cross fell off my shoulders and crumbled into pieces at the bottom. It's the first time in my life I've said no, a Pepsi will not be okay. All my life I've been a lemming and I've just sat there and said, been irritated and said, yeah. When there are continuums of differences between the two, Pepsi and Coke, especially in the television marketing campaigns that you see their television commercials.

Blade: 2:21

It's got to be a 21-year-old, you know, intern at some marketing company that writes these commercials for Pepsi. It's gotta be. It can't be an adult because they're so stupid. You know, Cokes aren't stupid, but when I say they're good, I don't know of any commercials that are good per se. You know, because they're always an interruption on the show that I'm trying to watch. Always. You know, but I said it for the first time in my life, and now I can go to my grave peacefully. No, it won't be okay. You know, it's like ordering a center cut fillet, medium rare, please, and the guy says, Will a ballpark frank, they plump when you cook them, be okay? Well, no. Yeah. How about some Morton's fish sticks, sir, instead of your grilled lobster? No, let me just tell you something. When you want something, you want it. It's that simple. When you want something, that's what you want. And when does it ever happen? It's always Pepsi or Coke. It's always Pepsi and Coke. You know, and they go half and half. They're all over the world, you know, but Pepsi doesn't sell nearly as many as Coca-Cola does. And so I got to thinking about that, you know, when I was walking out of there after I got a couple of laughs, you know, some nervous giggles from some people, some hands in people's heads because they expected that kind of thing from me. You know, people looking out the door pretending they're seeing something that's not there.

Blade: 3:44

I was thinking about it, it's like, how have they kept that freaking secret of the formula of Coca-Cola all of these years? I'm gonna guess Coke came out in 1940. I don't have any idea. And this is how they do it. Two people, two, two outs, two people in the world have the formula for Coca-Cola, sworn to secrecy. Now, who can keep a secret? But when one of them retires or dies, they recruit one more. So only two people in the world know the formula, and they've been sworn to never ever tell anybody the formula of Coca-Cola. So far, so good. Amazing. You know, you you can't tell me that some old guy decides he's gonna retire and then they replace him with someone else, and he doesn't go loose-lipped all over the place going and his senility and his dementia. Maybe he'll forget. Maybe he will have his dementia and he'll forget. What if both got dementia at the same time? Then you're in big trouble. Now nobody knows the Coke formula.

Blade: 4:50

Then you make something up like whatever it was they that thing they did in the 80s. Coca-Cola New Coke. What was it? I don't know, and then now it's Coca-Cola classic. You know, but I got to thinking about that afterwards, you know. I did, I did some thinking. You know, and uh speaking of TV and commercials, because I was there for a couple of moments. There's a new Jardiance commercial out. I saw it at a doctor's office on one of their screens because I was sitting there staring, waiting to be called. You know, and it's Jardiance on the river. Jardiance is some medication for people that have diabetes. Right? And it deeply affects your taint. Or could affect your taint. I read that in the captions and possible side effects. And they have to say anal and genitals. The announcer's got to read that like two or three times, because it's in the commercial two or three times.

Commercial VO: 5:47

You know, just a doctor about lightheadedness, weakness, fever, pain, tenderness, redness, or swelling between the anus and genitals. You may have increased risk for lower limb loss.

Blade: 5:55

Call your doctor why can't the poor guy say taint?

Commercial VO: 6:01

So ask your doctor about jardians.

Blade: 6:03

If a big red swelling arises in your taint, please call your doctor immediately. It's gotta be a taint doctor out there, you know. I would suggest if that is you, you know, and you are a diabetic and and you take jardiance and and and your taint gets swelled up, call your taint doctor immediately. And then you look at think of people looking it up. Taint doctors near me. I haven't done it. I shouldn't be laughing at people that have diabetes. I know it. I know. But I'm not laughing at diabetes, I'm laughing at the word taint. If you're a Southerner, you know what I'm talking about.

Blade: 6:52

You know, I don't watch any TV anymore. You know, I watch what's on a monitor in a doctor's lobby. Because there's too many friggin' commercials. I hate commercials. They're interruptions to what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to watch this, you know, series on Netflix or this television show or this something, and there's eight commercials. You know, I just I just can't take them anymore. I hate them all because they're all stupid. That's a good commercial. No, it's not. The Jardian's one I got a laugh out of. Is it a good commercial? They do a good job of it, but no, it's not a good commercial. Because it's an interruption of the series that I'm watching. And I take a look at the series, uh, their description first, you know. Nudity, sexual, violence, substances, smoking, language. Those six criterion are what I need to watch a series on Netflix. Smoking, language, and that's it that's on there. Rated PG, no thanks. I just won't watch it. I watch movies rated MA, mature. Why? Because I am mature. And according to my demographic, so are you. So that's what I do.

Blade: 8:04

And I've been watching this Turkish one now. It's called The Town. And they have this guy there, Poppy. What's his name? This this Turkish director. I can't ever get their names right. It's it's Cillion Bergen or something like that. I know it's got all these symbols on it, you know. And yeah, I don't know what his name is, it doesn't matter. But through him, a crop of younger director-producers is coming up, and then Turk Turkey is making helacious series and movies now. They don't excel in the humor aspect of it at all, like the Indians do. The Indians make great movies too, but they're but they're always funny to me. They make me laugh. Turkish people, dead serious, hits you right in the heart. And it's these guys that find $12 million and they gotta split it evenly or come up with some kind of a plan, because some, you know, it's owned by some mob mob is out there looking for their money. That concept, but it's fascinating.

Blade: 9:05

I once watched, and this is what turned me on Indian movies, a guy falls in love and in his apartment, he's a genius math teacher, falls in love with his neighbor who's abused by her husband. She kills him accidentally. He goes over, knocks on the door, and says, I'll take this over. And he covers up the scene, cleans the crime scene, figures out all the details, and frames himself when it comes down to it. The police come over and question everyone, and he frames himself. And in the end, after watching it for like a month, took me a month to watch it. I watch about 20 minutes at a time in these serious things. They find him guilty. He has framed himself. Nobody can understand throughout the course of this entire series why he framed himself. For love? Who would do that?

Blade: 9:55

And so, the final scene is him, this math genius, sitting in his jail cell with chalk writing down numbers and solving math problems. On his prison cell wall. He's running out of room. And the idea is he'll be happy as shit to spend the rest of his life in a jail cell solving math problems. Some of them take three, four years to solve. There are guys out there that do that. I didn't know that. Who thinks of that? The movie's called Jaane Jaan. Fascinating. Take a look at it, watch it. I suggest it. There's no commercials in it. And I love Netflix.

Blade: 10:38

I uh you know who's really cool and lives around here, and you see him all the time doing something or another. He's in commercials constantly, he's Alice Cooper. And I always laugh when I think of that cat because he's the guy that came up with this line that I love, and I'll always remember this line. Life is an AA meeting and a round of golf. I mean, he stopped drinking and partying probably a billion years ago, and now he's a marketer. He's an entrepreneur. And his latest thing, he got together with this uh dairy way out there in the freaking desert. You know, they put the dairies out in the desert because they stink so bad because of the cows, right? They're not near the town, but they're way out there Danzeiser right? And he's got these different flavors of milk. Chocolate, strawberry and others! He even at one time had a limited special, and it was called No More Mr. Nice Chai. And he gave that a spin there for a while and didn't do that well, and so you don't see that on the shelves anymore. No more Mr. Nice Chai. I think he sold like none. But anyway, I love strawberry milk. I feel like such a pussboy when I say that. But I do, you know, I kept the bottle because it comes in a bottle. Maybe he didn't did it that way on purpose. You know, there it is. Love it. I'll have it forever for life. Alice Cooper, I played in a golf tournament with him, I don't know, five, six years ago, and he won it. He's a good player. You know, he doesn't have the prettiest swing in the world, but you don't have to. You just have to win, right? Isn't that it? I was in it. I played in it single, just me and I, you know, I got I came in tenth. Played well that day. 76, I shot. That's when I was playing golf. I don't play golf anymore. I just don't.

Blade: 12:35

You know who else you see around town a lot who I really like and have grown to like because I kind of know her, is is uh Stevie Nicks. You know, I've talked to her like once or twice, just for a moment. And she'll talk to anybody. She's just sweetie. You know, and she'll yeah, she'll go to a bar from time to time. You know, she lives here and is from here. You know, and if someone says Stevie Nicks is with us, say hi to Stevie Nicks, and she'll come up and sing a damn song for whatever combo happens to be on stage that night. And believe me, I mean, she doesn't do it that often because there's about four bars, you know, that have live music around here. This is the most non-music town I think I've ever been in. I'm serious. You know, just serious music is just not a big deal out here. It just is not. They've got one of those uh sheds, you know, for concerts, and all of the musicians that are still playing play at the casinos around here. But their audio is shitty. So I don't even go to shows anymore. Plus, they start too late. They start at like 10, 10:30. Hell no. I'm in bed by nine o'clock.

Blade: 13:45

Thinking about doing 65 plus birthdays, geriatric birthdays. And congratulations to Dana Walker today, who is 64. Congratulations, you made it to 64, Dana. Very, very good.

Blade: 14:01

Look, uh I hate snowbirds. You go on the parking lot of the grocery store and you're waiting, waiting, waiting. They fill up the parking lots, empty the shelves. And you can tell them just by looking at them. You know, because they dress well. They look good, they have money, they're old, blah, blah, blah. And they come here and they stay here for 182 days. And they have to leave after 182 days for tax reasons, says Canada. And I think Canada has passed something that says that pretty soon you're gonna be able to stay for 420 days. Now, wait a minute, that's more than a year. Is that 420 days total? It's something really stupid like that. Please know. This town is gonna be taken over by Canadians, you know. I'm sorry, snowbirds, because they may not be. They may be from Michigan or North Dakota or Iowa or Wisconsin, you know, you know, Minnesota. Who are Canadians to me? Oh, that's Canada. I was born in Wisconsin. Believe me, that is Canada. My dad used to say when we were in Wisconsin, he would say, you know what the state tree is here, Blade? The telephone pole. I don't want those people here. Look, we can look if you're gonna cross the American border, just keep going across the Mexican border.

Blade: 15:24

There's a place called Rocky Point, and it's beautiful, and it's got something. We have a campground here. That's it. It's not even really a campground. It doesn't have any setups, you know, doesn't have any settings for your sewage or your water or your electricity. It's just a campground. I mean, you put your truck there and you sleep in it. Or your, you know, your pop-up StarCraft camper and you sleep in it. That's it. That's all we have. Don't even have any good restaurants. Why do you come here? To take up all our tea times and our two golf courses? Yes. Sit in your RV, you know, in air conditioning and watch the hockey game here during hockey season? Just go down to Mexico. It's an hour and a half from here. It'd be a whole lot easier. We have an armory and we have a nice fleet. We'll escort you down there. Cars, trucks, RVs, campers, yeah, you name it. Whether you ask or not.

Blade: 16:19

I'm hoping one day. Can't stand them. And they're nice enough people, it's just what what they do to our here's what they do. They congest the roads. People ask me, what do you like about your town in the middle of the desert in the middle of nowhere? I said, in fact, there's no traffic. And I know how it is back in the triangle, traffic-wise. I know now how it is since I just got back from there. Because there's no traffic until the snowbirds come. You know, and then in November, and they have to leave in May after 182 days. Fuck. Can't stand them. For that reason.