Sorry But...with Bob the Blade
Rock radio DJ of 32 years tells the stories in the side-splitting and eye-opening podcast.
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Sorry But...with Bob the Blade
The Demise of Blind Dates
Whether you're navigating the complexities of modern dating, contemplating cohabitation, or simply seeking perspective on life's unexpected detours, this episode delivers wisdom wrapped in Blade's signature blend of humor and authenticity. Subscribe to the Blade Video Podcast available everywhere, and visit bobtheblade.com for more content that will make you laugh while making you think
I always appreciate your support, I am very clear in my understanding of how unclear I really am of myself
and the kaleidoscope in my head makes me laugh.
Hello, here we are again. It's the Blade video podcast available everywhere and we are happy you are here. Here is Blade.
Blade:It's like Todd Rundgren and he gets to the hook right away Want of a Nail and does that for four and a half minutes. Great little tune. The Want of a Nail. Never understood that until I looked it up today. What the Want of a Nail is. Wish I hadn't done that one little thing. One of a nail For me it was streaking.
Blade:Back in the early seventies, middle seventies. Streaking was a phase. Four guys sitting on a street corner, me and my buddies. I decided I was going to be the one who did it for a certain amount of colones (Salvadoran currency). Remember that Running naked for the sake of it, for the hell of it, just for running naked. And they used to do it at all the sporting events Summertime 14, 15-, 15 year olds, just bored, because we lived in El Salvador at the time. Right, so I did it and I had, and it was fun.
Blade:We got a laugh, ha ha ha. You have no idea the ramifications of that. My father was a was a major in the United States Air Force at the time and he almost lost his privilege of being a lieutenant colonel because he couldn't control his family. I mean, they banned him from parties, poor guy. They couldn't go to parties. They were I and they, the family, was the scourge of the whole mill group, that's what they were called. You know, felt so terrible about that for the want of a nail, for the want of a little laugh.
Blade:And here I sit 50, 60 years later and I'm no different, anything. For the want of a nail, for the want of a little laugh. And here I sit 50, 60 years later and I'm no different, anything. For the want of a laugh. Listen, there's another heat advisory here and it's 113. Big whoop, excessive heat. That is not a heat advisory. I'm just tired of it. Year after year after year, we get a heat advisory when it's 113, when that's really pretty much normal. I think the average temperature is like 107 this time of the year. Okay, it's 113, whatever hell.
Blade:It's 130, probably down in Furnace Creek, California, ladies and gentlemen. It's 130, probably down in Furnace Creek, california, ladies and gentlemen. Actually it's west of us, in that desert, the Mojave Death Valley 130. Can you imagine that? And the pictures, these pictures I'm showing, they've got. I mean it doesn't look hot, it looks normal it's got to be wintertime pictures. People go there and camp 130 degrees.
Blade:The big joke around here is if you're working your way down that way and you're not very well behaved on this planet, don't worry about the fires of hell, because it's going to feel like air conditioning Compared to a summer here in Arizona. I'm going to add on Furnace Creek to that 130. They ought to change the script. Think about it. There's heaven and there's Furnace Creek, california man. I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog the other day. It's hot. You know what I did read the other day too. The tweakers out there they're putting the copper back into the air conditioners that they took out. If you're a tweaker, you know what I'm saying. If you're not, you have no idea what joke that is. A lot of bobcats in the area here saw one in the desert chasing down a big jackrabbit. He had a potholder in his mouth. Oof, hot here. But it's no Furnace Creek, california man.
Blade:I miss my monsoons. Man, there haven't been any monsoons here at all. We've got to get a monsoon. There's a drought actually going on here. Really. It hasn't rained in. I mean months. It Get a monsoon. There's a drought actually going on here. Really, it hasn't rained in. I mean months. It may have rained last night. I'll go out and check here in just a couple of minutes. Just for a minute, though. But we need a monsoon that saves me $180 of cleaning fees, because Mac will come by and he'll clean up my solar panels. Get a monsoon. I don't have to have him come by and spend $180. I'm just waiting for that to happen.
Blade:You know, you see this sign. It's the Gila River, g-i-l-a on the reservation Gila River, and every time you see this sign there's Gila River, there's no water, and you just laugh. Take the sign down. Man, no river there. When there is a monsoon, it does fill up for about a day or two or three, goes back to flat dead fish, you know. But it's great when they do have the monsoon, because it's like Noah's Ark, only there's no ark.
Blade:Every single animal that you have ever known and not known in your world is there in the Salt River or in the Gila River, after it's filled up, drinking. There's wild Mustang horses and raccoons and coyotes and lynxes and eagles and camels. There's no camels. There's no camels in this part, in this desert, but all the rest of the animals are there. The camels are way out that way somewhere Need some rain.
Blade:Listen, I've got a buddy who's 70. Buddy who's 70. Been married 10, 12, 13 years, something like that, and he met his wife online and, and he's happy, he's happily married. You know, and it occurred to me when he said that there are no more blind dates. Blind dates are over. You meet everybody online. Now, technically, there are no more blind dates Because the picture that that person posts, be it male or female, is the best picture they've ever taken or anyone's ever taken of them ever in the whole wide world.
Blade:See. So that's what they look like and that would get some bids from other people. The chances of you showing up and them looking like that are about zero. You just hope for it that they look something like it, something like it, and they probably won't. So technically it's not really a blind date. It is a blind date technically. Just because that's the picture doesn't mean they're going to look like that. You know it's just dangerous. I've never done that, you know. It's just dangerous. Who knows what you're going to get now? Everybody knows that by now, but people still do it.
Blade:Relationships are formed online and sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. All right, let's just say you meet someone online and you go out on some. You know what are you going to do. Everybody does the same thing. They meet at some restaurant and they have dinner Right. Let at some restaurant and they have dinner right. Let's just say you meet someone online and they're okay. You know, both people seem to be okay and they're getting along. And I just want to give you a tip here. Okay, this is how to not suck at life, guys, because I know too many guys that fuck this up.
Blade:Order something to drink when the waiter comes over. Order a light beer, because it's a gentlemanly drink, it is. Order a light beer, you know, because beer is manly. Make it a light beer because it makes it look like you're not there to get shit-faced or you're some raging alcoholic. You don't want to make that impression with a girl that you like, do you? You know you can't sit there and say I'll take the old Mississippi oil can Piddles, slasher, purple, special craft beer. Don't order a craft beer. Order a beer that people know. Order an ultra light or a natural light or a bud light or something like that you order one of those special craft beers like I just mentioned, and I couldn't repeat it. Who knows what I just said. The girl's going to go, hmm.
Blade:And if you do order a beer like that, keep it low, because you don't want other people hearing you order that, because you look like an asshole, you know, order a gentleman's beer and see how the thing goes, you know. And nine times out of 10, it may not go well, and that's when you can start ordering a double whiskey, please, thing, you know. And then you have to admit it. You know, you do, just admit it. If you don't get along, this isn't working right. And then she says I have a double scotch, you take an Uber home and there you go, and that may be the best fun of the night, who knows. But sometimes those things work, those kind of relationships work, and they bud. They do.
Blade:Now I'm going to give you another tip here. While I've been on this earth for a while, I'll give you another tip on what to do if you're going to dig deep, to go deeper into the relationship. Fellas, you can't get married in five or six months, you don't know enough. Okay, so you've fallen in love. Both of you have and women fall in love. Okay, you don't know which head has made the decision at that point. And it goes the same way with women. Hopefully, both. Hopefully, you know you fall in love up here and you fall in love in the other place At the same time. Hopefully, you know. That's always a good start. You know, but you never really know how it works out.
Blade:Five or six months you get married. It's not going to work because you don't know enough. For five or six months, we people are smart enough to give you our A-side. All you get is our A-side, the best of us, our best behavior. And you know after a year, maybe even two years.
Blade:That's when you start to find out, when you know when the going gets tough, you know getting down and dirty. How are these people really? What's the real deal? Getting down and dirty, how are these people really? What's the real deal? Seriously, that's when you find out the real thing. You got to know someone for two years, don't you? Before you decide you want to marry them? And even more importantly is like okay, let's just say you know someone for two years and you live somewhere, and she lives somewhere or whatever. However, your thing is. You know, however, your relationship is and, by the way, let me just go off on a side note I'm never going to use the word partner, okay, I'm never, ever going to use my partner. This Hate that. What are you trying to hide? You're trying to hide something by saying partner. It's what you're doing Now.
Blade:I've always liked SO, my significant other. I've always liked that. Somehow it's funny to me, my SO, and it's even funnier when women go. You know my significant other, my SO. When women say it, it's funny. When guys say it, it's not that funny, but that's it.
Blade:Other things I will not do. I will not use the word partner ever in my life. I will never buy a jersey with my favorite player's name on the back. I will never do that. I will never put mittens on my dog's feet. I don't care how hot it is. I will take the necessary precautions. I will never eat pineapple on my pizza. In fact, I'll go as far to say as I will never be around somebody who eats pineapple on their pizza. I've been known to walk out in the middle of a game when some guy orders some pineapple on his pizza at halftime.
Blade:Pizza is supposed to ruin your arteries. That's what it's for. It's good, it's delicious, it's yummy. That's what it's all about. It encompasses all that's good and bad in life. You put a pineapple on it. What are you doing? Where was I?
Blade:Oh listen, you know you decide you're in love. You know after two years she's cool, you're in love. You know after two years she's cool, you're cool, whatever. And uh, so now you got to live together. Can you live together? That's the big question. Can you live together? Because that's where the rubber hits the road, man.
Blade:It's tough living together, man, with someone you've never lived together with. It is male, female, they, I don't care. It's hard living together in harmony, nicely and beautifully, in sync with chemistry, with people. It is the vows are the easy part. It's living together, which is the hard part. It is the vows are the easy part. It's living together, which is the hard part. It is the vows are easy, you know.
Blade:But you could make some agreements. Like number one, you could make some agreements to put the toilet paper on the right way, because if you don't put the toilet paper on the right way, that sets itself up for unmitigated altercations. Right, really irritating. Same goes for paper towels. Put it on the right way, man. Roll down on the outside, not on the inside. Make sure, make an agreement. Make an agreement that you will both do your own laundry. All right, because don't even try to wash a woman's clothes, fellas. You know that, you've got to know that by now, and you don't want a woman washing your pants or your clothes because who knows what kind of incriminating receipt will be found end up in her hands.
Blade:I mean, you got to make an agreement on who's going to cook, man. I mean, can you be lucky enough to have one of you cook, the guy or the girl or the guy, whatever your relationship is, man, one of you has got to be able to cook because you can't go out to eat anymore. It's too expensive. It's $22 at McDonald's now for two of you to go out to eat. I'm serious. You got to have a cook or find someone to cook, or agree on a number for the month to have food delivered to you. It's expensive as shit, but you can get some good food that way.
Blade:Make sure one of you and you figure this out is not addicted to credit cards. There's nothing but trouble down the road. I don't even need to get into that. Wow, you know, and if this person your SO can make you laugh every now and then it's not like they have to do stand-up comedy for you every night and crack your ass up. But if they could just make you laugh every now and then it's not like they have to do stand-up comedy for you every night and crack your ass up, you know, but if they could just make you laugh every now and then, one good belly laugh goes a long way. It could go years.
Blade:Seriously, just look, just find a nice girl, find a nice guy, find a nice they, someone that can make you laugh every now and then that's all you need, really, isn't that? The most important thing in life Is make sure to put the toilet paper on the right way and then make me laugh every now and then Makes for a happy life.
Regent Voice Over:Thank you, Mr Blade. That's it for the blade video podcast today. Find all blade content at bobthebladecom. Peace out.
