Cameras Everywhere: Zero Privacy, Wildlife, and the Death Trap Called Hiking

Perhaps most entertaining is Bob's vehement rejection of hiking culture. When friends invite him to hit the trails in 105-degree Arizona heat, his response is an emphatic "hell no." Dismissing stated benefits like cardio and fresh air, Bob humorously suggests people only hike to find Sasquatch before cataloging the genuine dangers that await on mountain paths. His practical alternative? "Just drive up to some beautiful point... take a couple of shots, get out, look around... get back in the car and drive down the hill." Visit BobTheBlade.com for more unfiltered commentary on modern life's absurdities and subscribe to hear what unconventional topic Bob tackles next

Chapters

• 0:00 Quitting Smoking and Weight Gain
• 0:50 Privacy Concerns in a Camera-Filled World
• 5:11 Lions, Animals, and Unfair Eating Habits
• 10:15 Why Hiking is Dangerous
• 15:14 Episode Closing

Transcript

Blade: 0:03

I guess I needed it. But seven months of not smoking I guess I'm an off and on again smoker is what it is. Smoked for a couple of years, quit for a couple of years, you know. But I'm telling you I gained 10 pounds right away, like within three days, 15 pounds overall. The average when you quit smoking is to gain six or seven or eight pounds. I gained 15 pounds. I guess I needed it. I don't look, you know, bad, I look good, considering what I've been through and if you don't know what I've been through, refer to the last episode. Let us all find out what sparkling wisdom and insight the guy has to offer today. Here he is Bob the Blade Quick story.

Blade: 0:57

In the shower the other day I picked my nose and freaked out. I did, I jumped around. Who saw that? Who saw that you can't do anything, even marginal, without thinking to yourself? Who saw that Because we're in a world of cameras, there is no more privacy, which I have given up on many, many years ago.

Blade: 1:14

I had to think in how they have cameras everywhere now, you know everywhere and I wondered if you could buy a shower head with a camera in it. Is there one in mine? Did you see me pick my nose. My neighbors have cameras, you know, 15 of them all over their house, both of them on either side. We all have pools, right, and I go out there, you know, and I want to change after I've done my swim for the day, which is, you know, two to three times a day and I just change right out there in front, right by the pool. Hey, my shorts are wet, I want to get some dry pants on. I'm naked as a jaybird and where did that phrase come from? Naked as a jaybird, what the fuck? I don't care what they see. I'm 65, 66, now years old. Have a look, look, all you want. Take a picture to last longer. I don't care, I don't, I don't care who sees me.

Blade: 2:12

And we have a Gladys Kravitz in the neighborhood. You know one of those type of women who's nosy and I swear to you, just like this show. You can drive by and you can see her looking out of the window, out of her curtain, and she takes these walks for the three little poodles and she says Mr Robinson, why haven't you gotten any video cameras yet or security cameras for your home? With all that's going on around here, all that's going on around here. Someone broke into a Kia about two and a half years ago, that's it. I said, well, have a nice day, ms Kravitz, and I always call it a bat, and she doesn't.

Blade: 2:51

But I got to thinking. It's like, yeah, I don't have a security system and I could get one if I wanted to. But why should I when neighbor, neighbor, neighbor, neighbor, neighbor, neighbor each have eight cameras around their homes? Every angle is covered in this neighborhood. I don't need a camera angle, another one I don't need, they don't need mine. I'm saving $120 that way Through my laziness Plus.

Blade: 3:18

It's just weird having cameras and spying on people. It's just weird to me, you know. I'd never have one on my house, you know, ever. It's just weird. You know you're sneaking in on people. Just I don't know.

Blade: 3:37

There are guys now that put cameras on top of their shoes so they can look under. There are cameras everywhere. You know the old, even in the old what Maxwell Smart days. You know cameras and clocks. That's still funny to me, you know. But they've got cameras everywhere. I'm telling them they put them in air filters, you know, they put them in air conditioners. They put them everywhere. You just never know, you know.

Blade: 4:07

So you just kind of give up and you don't care anymore. I, you know they here. Here's something that I do care about is they have them in Airbnbs. You know I've never used an Airbnb or gone that way, but I mean I can kind of understand because you know it's someone's home, you know security and all that kind of shit, you know. But they've got cameras in every single room, all over the place Audio, everything. You can't do anything. They're spying on you, looking at everything you do. I'd never go to an Airbnb. I wouldn't. Yeah, you know you're stuck with a hotel and hope that they don't have cameras in a hotel. No privacy anymore. Man, you know, just don't even worry about it. Just don't even worry about it. Nothing you can do about it. They're going to know what you do. Everybody in the world will know exactly what you do, and it's been that way in North Korea for I don't know how many decades. I'm trying not to pick my nose, but when I do, I still no, you don't Come on. You don't want people seeing you pick your nose.

Blade: 5:11

On my six-month drug binge that I went through, you know I was on antidepressants, so I sat on a couch for six months and didn't do anything. Every now and then a TV show would come on and it would catch me and you know, since I don't have have cable, it would always default to this quote-unquote live tv and it's always the same channel. It's called love nature and so you know, when it turns on automatically there's this picture of some gila monster with staring at you with his beautiful green eye, and he's staring at you, you know, and I just stare back at him, me and him, for for a moment there, and I just have these stories of animals, you know, and the last one I saw that stuck was a story of this pride of animal, of lions, four of them, skin and bones there may not have been any skin and they're hanging out in the marshlands, you know, maybe near a lagoon or something, because it's kind of the rainy season, and they're waiting for the migration of the water buffalo to come get their drink and get wet and take a bath and drink, and all that Because the lions know that they are coming. And the lions haven't eaten in four months, they're nothing but bones and they are waiting, waiting, waiting. Finally, here they come, a herd of water buffalo, I'll bet you there's six, seven, eight hundred, that could be a thousand walking to the lagoon to get their water and, sure enough, one of them strays from the herd. One dumbass strays from the herd. The lion sense it. They jump on him and they get him Right. Takes him an hour to get this guy down. He's two tons, but they get him and they start eating him and it's like, finally these guys get to eat. And they have to take shifts, scaring off all the predators, the vultures, all the freeloaders and the looters, the vultures and the coyotes and the wolves, you know, and all the animals that are out trying to get bits and pieces of their kill that they worked so hard to get. Again, they take shifts and scare them off. Finally they eat. They don't have to, you know, eat for another two to three months probably. And it's not fair, man. Other animals have it so easy.

Blade: 7:27

I go to Burger King and I'm out in 15 minutes. I'm an animal, right, I'm a mammal, 15 minutes, I'm out. Of course I have to pay $15.92 for a freaking, you know, value meal. Hey, at least they get to eat for free every single day, right, and I don't have to shoo off the moochers and the parasites going after my hard-earned meal, you know. But the poor lions, you think about the other animals and how they eat.

Blade: 7:53

I saw this documentary on what was it? The guy I don't know? A huge whale, killer whale, whatever, a blue whale and they take one chomp and they get six tons of krill, which is a fish, and they, you know, do they do this shit in the ocean. You know one chomp and they're good to go for a month. And these are a copy that I just love. There's these animals in the Amazon in South America and they don't know if they're a zebra. Look at that guy's ass. You don't know if they're a zebra or a giraffe and when they're hungry they just reach up and eat a you know tree bark or some kind of a fruit that's up there, bend down, get something to drink, whatever they want.

Blade: 8:40

It's that simple, easy. Talk about easy. How about an anteater? You sleep anywhere you want, outside. You wake up. Food all around you Talk about easy. How about an anteater? You sleep anywhere you want, outside. You wake up. Food all around you. Breakfast in bed. It's a buffet every time you eat. A free buffet every time you eat.

Blade: 9:00

Life is not fair. It's not fair. My dad would say that it's not fair for the eminals. He'd say you know, and we had this elephant egg at the house that I believed was an elephant egg For 17 years. That's the kind of guy he was. He was a funny fucker he was. He really was, you know. And he bit his tongue and the secret was never let out For 17 years, till I left the house. It was an egg this big and white and heavy and we didn't break it because it was sacred, you know, for 17 years. And we all thought five kids, it was an elephant egg, all of us. And every now and then a question would pop up at the dinner table Are you sure, dad, that that's just yeah, and we'd believe it when it was an ostrich egg. Love animals, the stories you can tell about them. Life is not fair to lions especially. Life is not fair to lions especially.

Blade: 10:15

Hey man, phil Zachary called me an opinion leader when people come up to me and they ask me hey Blade, you want to go out for a? We're all got an expedition going out for a hike. You want to go hiking with us? And I'm like no, I mean not even no, it's more like a hell. No, why would I want to go trudging I'm sorry, hiking in 102, 105 degree temperatures in the mountains of Arizona? Look, I live in the flat-ass desert. You don't want to go hiking around here, but the beautiful mountains are all around me and people go hiking all the time. It's wildly popular. They're trailheads is what they call them all over the place and people take off in crowds of four, five, six, sometimes two, sometimes one. You know, and it seems to me, when I talk to people, how is the hiking expedition? You know, there's always one person in the crowd who slips on the gravel, cracks their ankle in half and the crowd expedition has to carry them down the rest of the way. That's the least of your problems when you go hiking. Why do you go hiking? Why, you know, I looked it up. What are the best reasons for going hiking? Why do people do this? And there's, like you know, 15 reasons and 10 of them were disguised as cardio. You know different ways of saying. It's good for your cardio and good for exercise, complete BS.

Blade: 11:35

Hikers go on their expedition for one reason to find Sasquatch Bigfoot. They're looking for Bigfoot Every now and then someone will say it's the big, wide open in the freedom. Okay, you know, I mean we just lost a couple here at one of our parks in Arizona. You know, guys admitted we're going out to find Sasquatch in Arizona. Why does he live in Arizona? They admitted it. If it was a joke, I'm laughing. If it wasn't a joke, I'm laughing. So they entertain me and I appreciate that.

Blade: 12:12

But sure enough, they were found at the bottom of a 24-foot ravine, gone, just their bones, identified by DNA, felled by the jaws and claws of a 650-pound Carpathian brown bear. That's not funny. Dangerous hiking man. It is. Dangerous hiking man. It is. And the worst predator there are scorpions out there and all kinds of rattlesnakes and all kinds of javelinas and all kinds of wild animals you don't even know or I've ever seen when you go hiking. But the worst predator of all of them is loose gravel. You can slip in a second and fall down 50 foot ravineine and man. You may not ever be found. You know, if you are lucky enough to have cell phone coverage, you can call a helicopter come get your ass. But guess what? It takes $100,000 to deploy a helicopter in a situation like that.

Blade: 13:12

And there are stories, I am sorry to say, that pop up daily, you know in the news or the newspaper about people that were found have been lost for five days or were never found, or bones that were found, you know, or murders on. You know the trail Daily, pretty much daily, you know, and for every time you know something like that happens. I'm sure there are hundreds of people that have a fine day hiking, but it's just too dangerous. Why take a chance on it? Another good reason this was not listed in the reasons why people like to hike is you do have the freedom to potty wherever you like. I can't think of anything else. Why would you do that? It's too dangerous and it just kills me. And this trail is closed today because it's 109 degrees how people do it anyway. And they run out of water and they dive thirst and they found dead up there Hiking.

Blade: 14:16

No, I don't want to go hiking. I'll sit in my pool at home. I'll sit and watch a three and a half hour boring watching paint dry baseball game before I go hiking with anyone, hell. I'll sit on a Pelotron if I need exercise, you know. I'll take a walk around the yard if I need freedom. Come on, man, you go hiking. You could die. You're defying death. Don't go hiking. Just look on the internet for the good pictures they have. It's all you need. Or drive here's an even better idea. Just drive up to some beautiful point and they're everywhere out here the Grand Canyon. It's the Grand Canyon state. They're everywhere out here. Take a couple of shots, get out, look around, you know, get back in the car and drive down the hill. What Fuck? Okay? This concludes the Blade video podcast. All Blade content can be found at BobTheBladecom. We will see you next time. Prepare yourself. You know it's a must. Gotta have a friend in Jesus so you know that when you die he's going to recommend you to the spirit in the sky.